The phone rang at bedtime tonight. Caller ID showed the local library, so I picked up.
“Hello, this is the librarian at [local public library] calling for Beth.”
She’s unavailable. It’s bedtime.
“Well, she has an overdue book.”
OK, which one?
“I can’t tell you. We have a policy.”
Look, she’s a first grader. She has over a decade to go before attaining majority. There is no confidentiality here. Besides it’s a library book, not an HIV test.
“Sorry. Library policy. I can only talk to the borrower.”
I’m the parent responsible for returning it! If you want it back, you need to tell ME what it is.
“[mumbles title of book.]” *click*
Have we all lost our minds? Why do library books have confidentiality? This isn’t PHI. Do you realize you violated the spirit of the confidentiality just by telling me an overdue book existed? Who makes these policies?
*Sigh* Maybe my daughter should try suing for the breach of Protected Borrowing Information. What’s a LIPAA violation worth these days?
Happy over at HMHQ penned a ‘HIPAA Friendly Post’ recently. He commented that if he removed anything potentially identifiable (instead of changing it), his resulting posts would look like Mad Libs.
I love Mad Libs.
I sent the resulting blanks to a few friends, and here are the results.
First up is Mrs. Mack505. She has no medical training, but has lived with me for a long time:
We arrived at 167 Dyke Mtn Rd for a reported ETOH with extreme wooziness. The reporting party said their brother’s son’s uncle in law was polishing the floor when he lost his balance, resulting in a defenestration that caused a subdermal hematoma.
The Maine DOT moved quickly to apply barf bag and extricated the patient to the awaiting belt-driven hay baler. In the back I started a subdermal follicle removal and rapidly shifted gears to the oxomometer. I charged the Banana Bag to 42 dark and pressed the red button. The smell was intense. The elbow had caught fire, literally, as a result of the application of adhesive dermal patch, despite my use of 26ml of Ringer’s Lactate.
Needless to say the accepting Family Clinic at Deep South Maine Hospice was not at all amused at our predicament and immediately started 12ml demerol.
More results when I get them.