We arrived at 167 Dyke Mtn Rd for a reported ETOH with extreme wooziness. The reporting party said their brother’s son’s uncle in law was polishing the floor when he lost his balance, resulting in a defenestration that caused a subdermal hematoma.
The Maine DOT moved quickly to apply barf bag and extricated the patient to the awaiting belt-driven hay baler. In the back I started a subdermal follicle removal and rapidly shifted gears to the oxomometer. I charged the Banana Bag to 42 dark and pressed the red button. The smell was intense. The elbow had caught fire, literally, as a result of the application of adhesive dermal patch, despite my use of 26ml of Ringer’s Lactate.
Needless to say the accepting Family Clinic at Deep South Maine Hospice was not at all amused at our predicament and immediately started 12ml demerol.